O Should Know

Today, Mother’s Day 2009, was one of the best days of my entire life.  And, although my husband, kids and God-daughter, made it special from beginning to end - it was one hour. . .from 9-10 pm. . .too late for my 5 year-old to be up. . . too late for him to be walking around outside. . .something totally unexpected . . that made it a “best day.”

Almost every night after 8 pm, I try to fit in an hour or two of walking in an attempt to get some exercise and mainly dream my thoughts - clear my mind or to fill it will new things.  Tonight, my little boy - who won’t let me kiss him lately because I don’t think he can slow down for that long - asked if he could go on my walk with me.  

So, I asked him if he thought he could go a couple of hours and he said, “Sure.”  Off we went.  He grabbed my hand and we walked for over an hour around the neighborhood.  We took turns telling stories, talking, just being one.  I was overwhelmed with a feeling I had not experienced since I was carrying him in my womb.  The ”one feeling” that makes a mother sad that she has given birth, even when she’s glad to have released the heaviness.

My little boy is what most people categorize as “all boy.”  He rarely stops moving and doing.  Kind of like me, I guess.

But, this past week I’ve made an effort to stop moving in the direction I was going over the last several months. . .or years, maybe. I did things I enjoyed.  And, I think it showed.  I hope it showed.

Maybe that was not it.  Maybe it was just a fluke.  But, one thing is for sure - I will never forgot this night, that one hour.  When he’s all grown up, I know I will look at him and remember. . .my little boy.  Walking with me under the stars.  Telling stories.  And, holding my hand tight. 

Thank you.

If you are going to go, go FAR.

Signs are everywhere that guide us, wake us up and turn us back in the right direction.  I’ve found that to be true of people, too.  So, why bring this up?  Because I’ve learned over and over again that if you don’t listen or heed to signs or the people you trust, life continues “as is” and that is not necessarily a good thing in most cases.  Change is almost always good.  And, it almost always entails a journey.  It’s just a matter of how far you want to go.

This past couple of weeks I’ve had not only a lot of signs, but spent some time with a couple of mentors that I cherish – not to mention individuals who I can’t believe have taken the time to care and nurture me.  Amazing people that have traveled farther than almost any humans have braved to go.  I also had dinner with an extrodinary client and she (unknowingly) slapped me in the face with a truth.  Like me, she was an athlete in her younger years.  She didn’t brag, but I could tell that she’d excelled.  We were talking about how athletics has inspired our adult professional life.  She pointed out that we learned to work hard to win.   We were conditioned over many years.  And, learning to work hard and experiencing athletic success has translated into our adult lives to always aspire to a higher level.   Always reaching futher down the road.

Over the last five months, I’ve been going 1,000 miles an hour and for the life of me, could not figure out how to slow down.  Or, even if I should.  From the exterior view, success has been abundant both personally and professional.  But, on the interior there has been nothing but what I call my “internal hamster wheel.”  Questions over and over again.  Should I stay, or should I go?  Where am I going?  Am I going too far?  Why am I hanging so close? Those were the questions spinning around in my soul.

It didn’t take much time for one of my mentors to answer all of these questions for me—in just one short statement.  The statement I lead this blog with is it – “If you are going to go, go far.”  My dad used to say something similar to me.  “If you are going to do something, be the best.”  But, the “go far” really hit me this past week.   It means more than topping everyone else, it means doing what you do FOR YOURSELF and to your satisfaction.  Don’t let people hold you back.  Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb and pick the best apple.  And, remember. ..you should be the one to take the first bite of that apple.

The road I’ve been on really took its turn the first of this year.  As most of you have probably noticed, blogging for me over the last five months has simply not happened.  After having some good time to write and be inspired around the New Year, life went crazy and I had to make some tough choices.  To blog or not to blog. . .that was the choice.  It felt terrible to quit in the middle of the Oprah New Year’s series – even sort of embarrassing.  But, it came down simply to work and family.  I have been in survival mode, but not necessarily in a bad sense.  I discovered – or acknowledged – for the first time that I really love what I do for a living.  And, that I love to work in general.   For years, I’ve gone through the days feeling guilty, bad about myself and in denial about this fact.  But, over these last five months I’ve also come to realize that there is nothing wrong with loving what you do. 

Now, work does not just include my day job as the owner of a Boise-based PR firm.  It also includes the fact that I love working hard to be the best wife, mother, sister, mentor and friend.   Accomplishing those things—being good at work, home and friendship—is really what makes me happy.   And, instead of feeling bad or guilty – I need to travel even further.  Because there is a long way to go.  But, to be the best I can be—I also need to make some changes. More, yet not going about more in the same ways.

I no longer want to be the professional that my clients find sent them work product at 1 am or the woman who got hemorrhoids because she sat on the sofa for hours and hours working.   Really.  Sadly, that happened to me several times recently.  When I mentioned this issue to a close physician friend of mine, the first thing she said to me was – “Steph, sounds like you have been spending a lot of time sitting on your . . .”   Yes, you know the three letter word.  And, yes.  It’s true. 

Truth be really told, this is going to be hard for me especially with work.  I am lucky enough to have a list of clients that I truly love and enjoy working with and for –so, each new possibly makes me want to go wild with creativity and hit the ball out of the park.  I’m also competitive.  So, I want to make sure my clients get service, strategy and creative thinking like they can get no place else—not in Boise, not in NY, not in LA.   But, delivering this can be tough on myself and those who work around me.   Learning to put limits on what I can do and say “no” is one step toward change, but also trusting more and teaching more to those who surround me.  Simply. . .believing.

I also need to extend this—first and foremost—to my family and close friends.  I think most of these people know how much I cherish them, but not taking care of myself or not being there to support them when they are trying to “go far” is not acceptable.   

And, that brings me full circle.  I’m going . . .and going far.  With all of the signs and encouragement from family and mentors, that’s exactly where I’m going – as far as possible.   You are all invited to come along.  If I can inspire just one person to finally be at peace or to take the far-reaching journey to the top, then my life will be complete.

Let’s GO!!!

Well, it’s Day 2 of the Oprah Best Life campaign here oshouldknow.com.  And, it’s been a doozey.  If I can get to sleep in 15 minutes, I might be able to comply with the majority of the recommendations Dr. Oz made today on the show—including that 7-8 hours of sleep I need to get.  After finishing up a work project, gaggling down my second-ever V8 (heated up and added dash of salt), spending some “sort of ME TIME” with the family, cooking a decent dinner, riding the bike for a few (short) minutes—I’m ready to hit the hay.   And, thankfully, sleep is the last item on Dr. Oz’s list.  I don’t think I could take much more.

Admittedly, Best Life Day 2 could not compare with Day 1.  Oprah’s weight gain confessions were riveting and even though Dr. Oz is “kind a cute” – OK, a hot guy – yesterday she probably stole the show for the week.  It is her show.  She can do that.  Which is why she is who she is. . .she is the show.

I was moved and educated today, though.  Dr. Oz gave us some of the usual tips, but a few I either don’t usually think about or just ignore.  It wasn’t the usual. ..drink a barrel of water, get a pedometer, walk to China, twist around like a pretzel on a sticky mat, hmmm with your legs criss-crossed . . .

In case you missed it and you are about to pass-out like me and don’t want to stay up and watch the show on the Oprah.com website, here are his 10 recommendations to good health (follow the links if you want more detail):

Step 1: Find a doctor and schedule a checkup

Step 2: Know the five ingredients to avoid

Step 3: The healthy foods to add to your diet

Step 4: Take a multivitamin every single day

Step 5: Know your numbers

Step 6: Find a health advocate

Step 7: Organize your medical records

Step 8: Get the medical tests you need

Step 9: Start exercising

So, if you are following along and making changes—keep it up!  Can’t wait to see what the show brings tomorrow.   OK, got to get some sleep.  See you O’tomorrow!

PS – Go to www.oprah.com to see the entire show and a transcript.

OK.  Before we even start, I want to get one thing straight—I do not think I’m Oprah.  This blog entry may seem to imply that I think I am, but that is not the case.  Even though. . .I have renamed myself “The Great White Oprah” after watching the first day of Oprah’s Best Life series.  I thought I’d get a lot out of this week, but watching her talk about her weight issues mesmerized me.  It was me.  How can it be possible that Oprah and I have come to the same place?  “Overweight.  Overwhelmed.”  Say that 100 times.  It’s not a tongue-twister, but a stomach-turner.  Although, not bad enough for me to put down my Pepsi.  Uhhg.

I’m not a mega star, but I did pull out my schedule for the last year and found that I have little to no time for myself—except eating. That is my big ME TIME.  Eating is what I do for myself.  I like it because I can do it while: talking on the phone, driving, playing with my kids, working, blogging.  It’s a multi-tasker’s ultimate ME TIME activity.  So, if I’m not doing something that I’m not obligated to doing—I’m eating.  For me?  Uhhg.

I know I’m not alone.  Many of my readers called and e-mailed me similar messages today.  “Hey, did you see Oprah?  That’s me.”  So, there are a lot of Oprah’s out there. . . evidently, I’m not special.  But, that is the beauty of the show today.  We are not alone.  We are people who over-schedule, over-commit, over-do-it and then . . . overeat.  Uhhg.

I thought it was awesome in the way that she was so honest about her weight issues.  I had been sitting on the potty (reverse ME TIME) reading my O Magazine a couple of weeks ago and thought, “I wonder how she feels about being on the cover these days?” And, today she told us.  It’s been hard.  Uhhg.

My favorite quote from the show today was:

The journey to take better care of yourself, to honor yourself, to have reverence for yourself, to have harmony with your life, appreciation for your life, to love yourself is a never-ending journey.

That is what I was saying to everyone this past week in my “O, Happy New Year” entry (scroll down).  It’s one of my core beliefs.  Taking better care of myself is on my list this year.  And, I’ll be happy to do it with Oprah. I’m hoping you will be happy to do it with me.  It won’t be easy, though.  Uhhg.

I suppose if I’m really going to take heed and do everything to become the really “Great White Oprah” I will begin by working on my new schedule with some healthy ME TIME starting tomorrow.  I will eat healthier as part of that schedule.  I will even get up off the sofa tonight and get on the bike for 45 minutes.  Uhhg.

Let’s do it!  O, Uhhg. Uhhg.

PS. If you missed her show, link to www.oprah.com.  I’m sure you can watch Day One for several weeks. 

Normally, I don’t promote the Oprah Show on this blog because the point is to post things that she might want to know (i.e. www.oshouldknow.com). But, this coming week her show appears to be a must for anyone wanting some inspiration to “float their feathers” or “grow their grass” in 2009.  It’s her first ever “Best Life” week and each day she is going to talk with experts on a variety of different topics, all of which I know I could stand to think about this year.   She starts the week addressing the biggest resolution most people make (health and fitness) and ends the week with some inside “bedroom” chat.   I can’t wait. . .and, I’m not saying which of those two topics I will be most interested in learning about.   Check out my blog daily to hear my “O Thoughts.”   I’m be recording the shows and commenting each night.  Here is a link to her site where you can check out the show topics in more detail:  www.oprah.com.

Most of all, I hope to hear your thoughts and comments.  Let’s get O’d!

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. 

I will write more about the PostSecret books and website soon, but I’d recommend you check out the website (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) if you want to be happy, sad, disturbed, grateful all in one sitting.  This made me cry today (for a long time) , especially in light of my most recent post (below):

It’s the Holiday season and that means one thing for sure with me – tons of time driving around in the “fam-van” picking up kids, gifts, fast foods, other peoples’ colds/flu  and anything else Santa may or may not have on his list.  It also means a little extra “car talk” radio time for me, which is always a bonus. The 24-7 Christmas song station is fun for about the week after Thanksgiving, and then Rudolph, Frosty and Feliz Navidad start to give me uncharacteristic bouts of road rage (for some reason).   Ack.

Anyway. . . I can never get enough of anything “talk radio,” especially the biggies like Rush, Dr. Laura – you know all the large names with whom nobody really agrees or disagrees with, but tune into for the entertainment value of what is being said by those “entertainers” about what is happening on any given day. 

Well, on this particular day (five days before Christmas 2008) of sputzing around I turned the dial to Mr. Limbah.  I am typically a “conservative leaning” chick, so often he appeals to me on many levels – or, just makes me chuckle thinking about some of the “right turn” talks he has with his listening audience.   Yet, today – something he said relating to our struggling economy really hit home with me.  And, it stunned me. 

Rush was talking about a recent national survey conducted by some major media outlet that found most US parents are shielding their children from the state of our economy.  And, how are they doing this?  Well for starters, they aren’t telling them anything about that state of their checkbook.  Parents are also running up credit card debt to make it appear “Santa” still has deep pockets and is able to spread the usual amount of loot under the tree this year.  Uhmmm.  What??

Thank goodness I have not had “that” conversation with any of “those” parents.  I’m not saying you should give your kids a doom and gloom speech, but for the love of “Santa” – say no to a few things on the list this year.  And, let your kids know there will be less and why.  Most of all. .  . teach them about being grateful for what they have—beyond toys and unnecessary crap that all of us have been gobbling up over the last several years.  Teach them to give.

In my universe, I have experienced a seemingly different attitude.  I am the parent of two young children and all around them –at school, at church, the neighborhood, their friends—people are helping teach them that it’s REALLY time to give.  In their life time, there has been no greater time of need.  My kids understand not only from my husband and I that we need to share and give, but from the community that surrounds them.   We have made it clear that things have changed in our country (and household). And, the overindulgence we once probably shouldn’t have enjoyed is no longer.  We must live reasonably.  We must live empathetically.

So, in the end (here) – I sound not like a conservative, but a liberal (probably much to the chagrin of Rush, but who cares!).  But, like Rush, I recognize the disastrous road parents might be going down if they don’t halt the money sleigh now.  Right NOW.  Before Santa pulls onto your rooftop. 

On that note – Happy Holidays!  And, remember the reason.  For the season.   O!  Merry Christmas.

Thanks oshouldknow.com readers for your loyalty, comments and overindulgence this past year of this free—and hopefully entertaining at times—blog. 

Not that I have a lot of time to be “hanging out” on the internet, but I’ve been highly entertained lately by a website called Sidetaker (www.sidetaker.com) – it’s the latest Dr. Phil/Dr. Laura without a face and is conveniently available 24-7.  And, not that I’ve taken advantage of this site (for advice) – but, it appears you can easily become a guest and have your problem solved in fairly short order.  Much different odds than you’ll ever have with Phil, Laura and Oprah (of course).

This site boils down to a world-wide “weigh-in” session related to problem solving and because it is anonymous, the sky’s the limit on issues.   My favorites lately (I guess sadly), have to do with pee.  Uhmmm, sorry – yes, read on.  I’ll share and I’m sure you’ll LOL, too.  I hope. 

Sidetaker’s tagline is “Let the world decide who is at fault” and here is a site description:

Fighting with your significant other? Arguing with a friend, roommate, or co-worker? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Air it out anonymously while letting people of the world give you advice and make the decision on who should apologize.

Reading the site not only entertains me, but also amazes me.  The problems people have. ..Geez Louise!  Many of the problems kind of seem made up, but apparently they are all real.   The site allows one person to post an issue/problem they are having with “another person” and then the “another person” posts a response.  From there, people add their comments and after a couple of weeks a winner is declared based on the comments.  Seems mature enough. 

I think that what really happens is that after the comment period is up and people have added their thoughts, the original person with the issue probably feels so stupid that the problem kind of solves itself.  Here is one of my all-time favorite “issues” posted – and, sort of relevant lately with the state of the economy:

Title:  Never Flushes the Toilet (Not Lazy - Cheap)

Original Complainer:

My husband is constantly complaining about little things in our house that annoy him and he drives me nuts with his cheapskate ways. So much so, my kids and I aren’t even comfortable living here. Probably the biggest problem I have is him coming home from work and picking fights over lights. If there is more than 1 light on or a light using more than 1 bulb is on, he bi___es at me or yells at our kids. Another thing he does is not flushing the toilet. Why? Because it’s not yellow enough. He believes that if you pee, you only have to flush it every three. WHAT!?!  We live in PA and winters are cold. He turns the heat down to 58 degrees at night when it’s in the teens out. You can literally see your breath in the morning. So cheap we just can’t live comfortably. And he won’t change. My friends agree but he thinks they do because they are my friends.  He’s nuts.

And, the non-flusher’s response:

Hollie doesn’t know the value of a dollar. She thinks money grows on trees. My parents always watched their money and saved the same ways. I’m trying to save for the future and our retirement. She’ll never get it. Her friends don’t have any savings. They all have credit cards and bills.  She’ll understand one day.

The comments are as entertaining as the original post, but I’ll let you check those out.  This issue is listed as one of the “top problems” on the site right now – along with “Peeing on Your Partner in the Shower.”  Uhmmm, really??  My first thought was that this post was written by two four-year olds, but it claims to be adult-authored. Get a good chuckle –and, maybe post the words “Whatever People!” like I think I will do in the next day or so.  Here is the link:  http://www.sidetaker.com/story/612/peeing-on-your-partner-in-the-shower.

Anyway, if you want a laugh . . .check out Sidetaker.  If you have a problem, well I guess – post away.  And, O’s producers – you can stop putting out calls for guests on the show (http://www.oprah.com/pluglist.jsp?teamTypeName=TOWS).  Sidetaker is your “One Stop O Shop.”  Or, maybe this post should really be on my www.jerryspringershouldknow site?  Hmmmm. 

Oprah has started her new season and I peeked at her website tonight to see what she has on tap for the next few weeks on her television show.  And, as with most Americans (and perhaps the world), the financial crisis seems to be appropriately on the mind of Oprah and her team of producers.   

So, as I browsed through her list of call-outs trying to find people to be on the show, I really started thinking hard about my generation of stereotypical middleclass adults and what we have enjoyed over the last 40 years.  It dawned on me that we sure have purchased a lot.  Seems to me that we have made the world go round with stuff . . .just look inside my extra-deep, three-car garage that can’t shelter our automobiles without the help of an off-site storage unit.  It’s really pretty sad. . .and, embarrassing.

It’s so clear in my mind that “consumerism” has made the world economy go round for decades.   And, our expectations of what we should be able to afford (what we want) versus what we really could afford never became one for millions of Americans.  And, in the process we have started to make ourselves extinct.  Yes, the extinction of the American middle-class seems imminent if we don’t cut back.  

Now, I don’t mean to be a “Debbie Downer” – because I usually try to be funny, upbeat and happy go lucky on the “oshouldknow” blog—but,   geez people. . .we have got to start getting realistic.   And, if you don’t do it for yourself—do it for the children in our world, many that have no clue what it is like to miss a meal or not be able to Wii themselves to sleep.

And, readers, please be sure to note that I am not pointing fingers anywhere (or at anyone) outside of my garage doors.  I have certainly contributed to the problem.  Thankfully, I resisted the VERY tempting notion to go and buy the “big house” over the last few years.  I was hoping to join the “Jones’” many times, longing for 1,000 square feet per family member, granite floors and a master bath shower  fit for five (all of my family members, plus the pooch!).  But, we did take the big vacations, overfill our kids’ toy boxes (and, the garage, attic and under the bed), eat out too often and spoil ourselves with the platinum cable TV package.  Yes, we sure did consume!

So, what now?  I’m not really sure.  I’m hoping Oprah (through her outlets) will help us to figure it out by providing us with expert advice, thoughts—some guidance through these times.  That is what I’d like O to Know. . .for a while.