O Should Know

Dear Ann Landers: I was telling my 6-year old last night about how my office is gathering hair to send to the Gulf because there is a new technology that uses hair to soak up oil. Not 30 minutes later, I was shaving my legs in the tub and he came into chat and then proceeded to tell me that “I had enough hair on my legs to clean up AT LEAST half of the Gulf of Mexico.” Nice. Hmmmm.

Dear Ann Landers: SOMEONE might have told my 6-year old that when you call someone on Skype, the other person can smell things on their end. So, tonight he proceeded to pull down his shorts…and you can imagine the rest. Luckily, it was “almost a relative” on the other end (and we got it stopped before he approached the screen).

Dear O Should Know Fans –

Yes, I’m sure you have noticed that I’ve been an absentee blogger—something I had no intention of doing.  On March 26, I underwent back surgery and for some reason thought this would mean I’d be an “extra good” blogger.  The optimist I am, I just knew the recovery time would allow me to spew words galore.  And, with the help of the pain meds, the words would be extra witty and insightful.

Well, as you have seen—that was NOT the case.  Now, don’t think I didn’t do SOME blogging.  I did.  But, those words were not for publication (according to my husband).  He recommended that my drugged up prose was not for sharing.  And, looking back.. . .I’m glad I heeded his advice (for once).  My often-inappropriate voice become extra inappropriate—although, I’d have to say it was some of the funniest stuff I’d ever spewed.

Anyway, I’m back.  My surgery did not go as well planned in terms of recovery time.  And, I found out for the first time that ungodly pain in one part of your body affects all other parts of your body. . .especially your brain.

This past week was my first good week since the surgery.  I’m finally not regretful that I let someone slice open my body (only because I can feel part of my left foot—something I have not done since mid-December).

And, never fear. . .I did keep up with my fruits and vegetable pledge.  I was forced to skip a few days when I was hooked up to IV’s in the hospital, but someone brought me bottles of fruits and veggies that I could swig twice a day in a cool little shot glass.  No, it was not wine—it was something called MonaVie and it is said to give you all of your fruit and vegetable servings in these two shots (daily).   And, even though I’m not sure about the claims, I’d have to admit I sure have felt good since I started swigging away.

I also started drinking gallons of water every day as pain medication is like cement.  That is a DIRECT quote from my doctor (and, a complete understatement).  I learned my lesson the hard way (uhmmm, literally).

Tonight I’m all good.  Still recovering, but ready to get back after things related to my writing.   I also updated my “Dear Ann Landers” updates on the blog tonight.  I should have some amazing news soon that I’m hoping to share about a life-long goal and dream I’ve been chasing.  No, it’s not an appearance on Oprah (although that would be cool)—but it is something I’ve been working towards for the last couple of years.   O, the suspense. . .

Dear Ann Landers (& note to self): I am excited to see my 6 year-old so passionate about hockey, but I don’t think letting him sit so close to the ice at a hockey game is a good idea. Since the Friday night Steelheads game, he’s been mumbling over and over, “Hey, goalie. . .you suck.” It’s like a bad song stuck in the head. . . of a bad parent. Hmmm.

Dear Ann Landers: My 6-year old came and informed me that one of his little frogs died (appropriately named Mommy & Christian). I asked him how he knew the frog was dead and he went and flopped himself belly-up on the couch and said, “This is what he looked like mom. OBVIOUSLY he was dead.” Well, Ok then. . .

Dear Ann: I got in the tub tonight for a nice relaxing bath and felt well enough to break out the razor-something my legs and underarms have not seen since this back deal started. Just when I was so proud of myself, my 6-yr old saunters in (as I was getting to my underarms) and says to me, “MOM! What kind of girl does not shave her armpits!” I’ve got some work to do before that kid takes a wife or something. Sheesh!

Dear Ann Landers: My husband has been a God-send through this little “invalid period” I’m going through. I’m not going to say one thing to him about how maybe french fries don’t go with every meal, even if the kids say so and insist they are a healthy vegetable. Scrambled eggs and french fries…cereal and french fries. . .Hmmm.

Dear Ann Landers: In fun, I asked my son why he had so many cool freckles on his face. “In fun,” he then asked my what those two big, red freckles are on my nose. “In fun,” I ran to the bathroom and attempted to pop those two big, red freckles. No more fun. Hmmmmm.

This weekend was wonderful because I could almost smell the fresh veggies that I will soon be harvested in my front yard this year.   The sun was shining, the dirt could easily be mixed into mud (via two messy kids and a hooked up garden hose) and I officially dusted off my gardening sandals.  Whoohoo!!

You might note that I only mentioned harvesting in my front yard.  This is because the back yard—although someday will make a plentiful garden spot—has been in possession of my children and my almost 2 year-old Golden Retriever.  So, in plain English. . . we are harvesting doggie doo and just praying for the survival of the few morsels of foliage that does remain back there.    I asked my hubbie if he would install electric fence around a small area that would make a nice garden spot, which turned into a great discussion about the “humanness” of installing electric fence inside our home.  And, although it was a lively discussion—we decided the whole thing might prompt a visit from child protective services if one of the kids mentioned to their teachers at school that mommy and daddy shocked them if they tried to leave their bedrooms.  Oh, well—we can dream.  Plus, the backyard really should be a place where kids can run and destroy (I suppose).

So. . .back to the front yard.  Last year I was able to convert my large and previously perennial flower filled planting beds into a veggie garden.  I love my flowers, but looks aren’t everything.  I ordered a copy of a book from Barnes & Nobel that was re-released in February—Small-Plot, High-Yield Gardening: How to Grow Like a Pro, Save Money, and Eat Well by Turning Your Back (or Front or Side) Yard Into An Organic Produce Garden by Sal Gilbertie, Larry Sheehan.  Talk about dreaming.  We are going to really pump out the produce this summer in ways I never imagined.    In addition to the book, I’ve also been perusing all of the great websites on small space gardening.  Between the two, I can almost smell my tomato breath right this second.

The garden space option I’d never considered before is containers.   That is my project for the next couple of weeks.  I will be researching how to grow things in big pots.  Our front yard should be interesting to say the least.  I wonder how the home owners association will react to our new front yard landscaping, especially since they spell out exactly how many trees and bushes you must have, not to mention the species of grass you have to plant.  Hopefully, we won’t get fined for pot gardening this year.  Hmmm.

I hope to max out the yard this summer with healthy things to eat and of course. . .what I can’t squeeze into the front yard, I can luckily buy.   Between our neighborhood Albertsons store and the nearby farmer’s market, I should be able to get about anything that can be grown on local soil.

Well, that’s about all that is on mind tonight.  I suppose I took the long way around to say, “I’m just thrilled about the coming of spring!”  How about you?  Are you ready to get your hands dirty in the name of fresh and healthy eating?  Just say, “O yes, PLEASE!”

Dear Ann Landers: I was going to go exercise today and my 6 year-old son asked my why I would do that when I have those really tight underwear that make my stomach look smaller. Do you think he is a genius?