This past weekend I had a completely “loverly” time up in the mountains (not far from home) with my family and some very nice, fun friends – the only kind to have.  Technically, I suppose it was a “staycation” since we didn’t leave the state and were within a three-hour radius from our house.  It’s one of a couple low-cost “away from homes” we have taken this summer once we finally grew tired of camping in the living room and running through the sprinklers in our front yard.  Yah know, that stuff only goes so far. 

While in the mountains, I learned a new term from my friend (also named Stephanie) that I thought was fascinating and also has “O” so many possibilities.  She was reading an article in a trendy women’s magazine about this term that I thought it was brilliant—“moochation.”  Yes, a term that has so many possibilities beyond this summer’s every popular “staycation.”  It’s about becoming the house guest from heaven or “h e double hockey sticks” if you get my drift.   But, in general, another great way to beat the high cost of travel this summer. 

Just pick out a place you’d like to vacation, call up some close – or distant (what the heck!) – friends or relatives and whaalaah!  You are having the time of your life on somebody else’s dime.  You are officially a mooch on vacation.  The key is thinking WAY outside of familiar box when deciding on your the mooch host.

Hmmm. . .that old boyfriend from junior high (God, just where he now?).  The high school baby sitter from when you were five (she was super hot!)? Friends from summer camp? Maybe the third grade teach who said she’d always remember you or that lady at the church bingo table who said “visit me some time” when she waved goodbye?  And, people remember! This is what Facebook and MySpace are all about.  Reach out into cyber land and rekindle those old relationships – people will be popping out of the woodwork, believe me.  I’ve got an aunt in Florida, a former college flame in Hawaii, my best friend from pre-school in France.  We are set!

Now many people might argue that there is never such thing as a good mooch.  But, I’m here to help you minimize the pain on your “target” and maybe even get yourself invited back next year.  So, here it goes. . .the top five things you should do on your “moochation.”  I found them on a “mooch” blog with great tips (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lea-lane/forget-a-staycation-try-a_b_115956.html):

·         Call ahead if possible. If the hosts balk, accept it and move to another possible victim … er, host.

·         Suggest bartering as a way to get in the door. “You have a chateau outside of Paris. I have a studio in Milwaukee. Would you be interested in swapping?” Or, “Could you use a house/cat/plant sitter for a month?”

·         Don’t seem greedy. If hosts ask, “How long do you plan to be staying with us?” say, “Well … what would you be comfortable with?” Never say more than a week, even if you want it to be. If you’re a good guest you may be invited for an extended stay, so leave wiggle room.

·         Be generous. Send a gift ahead, bring one with you or send one after you leave — or all three for a really long stay. These can be inexpensive, but try to hit the mark (if you know the people). Gifting brings payback, as you may be asked to extend a short stay, and remember, there’s always next year. If you’re staying a long while, expect also to take the hosts out for a meal or two. Breakfast is the bargain meal, so suggest it first.

·         Help out. Babysit, fix things, keep your area neat. Cook a meal if you’re good at it, set up and clean up in any case. But if you’re asked to stay away from the kitchen, heed the caution.

And a couple of tips for moochees:

·         Be honest. If you don’t want a moocher in your house, just say no. If it’s hard to say it, email it. Don’t be a sucker. If you’re too nice you may wind up out of your bed, staring at an empty fridge, with guests in your bathroom until the fall.

·         Establish rules.Then write them out and hand them out. And if they aren’t followed, that’s your chance to toss out Minnie the Moocher, lock up the house, and maybe enjoy an all-American cost-effective “moochcation” yourself.

The possibilities abound!  Now, I’d have to admit that my dream “moochation” is with Oprah – at any place she’d allow me to be a extremely proper, grateful and a low-maintenance moocher.   So, “O” help out the needy vacationers this year.  Give away the all-American dream “moochation” on your show.  If I win, I promise. . .I’ll babysit the dogs, cook you a healthy breakfast and offer you up my modest abode in the Boise, Idaho suburbs.  So, come on. . El Mooch O!  I’m the houseguest from Heaven.